𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨 𝐏𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐊𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞

This morning, the Terra Level Executive Suite is unusually quiet. No movement upstairs. No clatter from the kitchen. Just me, my coffee, and a long list that stretches from the daily and mundane to preparing for the Indiana State Fair and finalizing my next podcast episode.

You’d think the silence would help me focus, but my thoughts are scattered.

Last night, I sat in on a planning meeting for Donovan’s funeral, the 15-year-old Scout I wrote about last week. I had nothing to add; others had already picked up the reins and were pulling the preparation wagon. So, I observed. Observed how people show up in grief. No profound conclusions, just quiet appreciation that there will be a celebration worthy of Donovan later this week.

Then, this morning, I saw a comment from Donovan’s mother beneath a news story about how local marching bands honored him during band camp.

Her words stopped me cold:

“𝐖𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭.”

She’s right.

In our effort to create perfect paths for our children: chasing “the best,” protecting them from harm, trying to shape ideal outcomes, we sometimes fail to notice that they have been learning the lessons we’ve tried to teach them.

Yes, there are overprotective parents who smother growth; but when we let kids experience life—the good and the bad—they grow. They 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯.

The expressions of sympathy, compassion, and grief I’ve seen from Fort Wayne’s youth this past week have been powerful, honest, and beautiful.

As we mourn Donovan, I’m choosing to also celebrate the strength and depth of our young people: how they’ve come together to honor their friend, support one another, and face the hard truth that life is fragile.

They 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦 credit.

And maybe, just maybe, we adults can learn something from them.