Patio Pondering: One Year Without Alcohol

This week I am solo parenting since Kim is in Nebraska playing Grandma.

I started my day playing Soccer Dad, dropping our son off at school before the sun crested the horizon. Fortunately, I had a tumbler of hot coffee to wake me up as I endured the drop-off line.

Today is a special day for me. Not only is it my son’s 16th birthday, but it is also my one-year mark without alcohol.

I distinctly remember the Sunday morning 365 days ago when I resolved to stop “enjoying” bourbon and the routine that surrounded it. I had just awakened after hosting my son’s birthday party the night before and realized I could not remember the entire evening. Sadly, it was not the first time that had happened. Lying there, trying to piece together the night, I worried. What did I say? What did I do? Who did I offend? What could have gone wrong?

The words of comedian Nikki Glaser came back to me. She told Theo Von about her own “aha moment” when her brain simply shut down after a few drinks, a defense mechanism to protect her from what she might do if she kept drinking. I resembled that story, and that Sunday morning it scared the crap out of me enough to say, I am done.

My path to no alcohol was not typical. There were no shakes of withdrawal, no social media announcement, no meetings, and no wooden token. It was simply a quiet resolve to stop drinking.

As the days without bourbon and beer went by, I realized I was not addicted to alcohol nearly as much as I was addicted to the routine, both at home and in social settings. Grabbing the tumbler. Adding the ice. Pouring the bourbon. Breathing in that first waft of aroma. Hearing the clink of ice in the glass. That little ritual became the rhythm of my evenings.

Then I did the math. I was going through three half-gallons of bourbon every two weeks. That is a lot of alcohol.

Sitting here twelve months later, I can see how much stress I put on myself, my family, and my friends when I drank. I know I did things I would never do sober, said things I did not mean, celebrated too hard, and definietly offended a few people. Fortunately, I do not have those regrets from the past year. If I offended you in the past twelve months, I meant to do it. 😉

I am not posting this to brag, well, maybe just a little, but mostly to be a small light for someone who might need a nudge to do something they have been wanting to do to improve their life.

☕ Listen to my podcast discussion about this journey at PatioPondering.com/podcast.