Stepping Back
It is an absolutely beautiful day dawning here on the patio. As I enjoy my cup of coffee, I see all the life just exploding around me, from the sunflowers to the squash to the gladiolas to the grasses planted as a border. As the caffeine starts to hit, I think back to an experience I had this last weekend helping with an Eagle Scout project.
In this seasonal life, with more of an eye toward contemplation and observation, my role as an adult advisor has changed a little bit. Another adult and I took over the parts that needed some knowledge and skill in carpentry, but beyond that, I settled into the role a Scout's parent can play: advisor, counselor, instigator, while the young man led the project himself.
After many years of being both the leader and the one leading the work, I can see things differently than a 17 year old can.
I watched him struggle with wanting to do the work himself while also having to lead it. At one point, he was immersed in attaching boards while at least four other Scouts stood there watching. There was work sitting right in front of them: boards to carry from the trailer, boards to hold steady for the adult doing the cutting, boards to hold in place for attaching to the frame. He was so locked into doing something he was good at that he missed a trailer full of people waiting to help him. Other times, the work ran the other way, and people just had to sit and wait for pieces they couldn't start until he finished his own.
The thing I saw, and the thing I have seen repeated throughout my school and work career, is the ability to stand back and let someone do the job you asked them to do.
For some of us, that is a skill we never learn. We keep micromanaging, sticking our fingers in, disrupting, causing problems. We've all seen it in our work or school careers: the leader who asserts "that's not the way I want it done," or the passive-aggressive "obviously my instructions were not understandable for you." Others swing so far the other way they check out completely, like Lieutenant Dike leaving the front to "make a call" while the rest of Easy Company held the line in Belgium in 1944.
Stepping back has a cost, and it shows up right away. Watching him fumble with a task he could have delegated, watching those four Scouts stand idle, was slower than if I had just handed out the assignments myself. An adult could have had those boards flying in half the time. But that is not what the day was for. The cost you pay in the moment, the slower pace, the awkward pauses, the tasks that sit half finished a beat too long, is what buys a 17 year old the chance to actually learn to lead instead of just watching someone else do it.
Having trust in the team you assemble, trust that they will accomplish the goal in whatever way they find necessary, is a valuable talent. Fortunately, we still have organizations like Scouts that try to instill the basics of that skill in young people.
Next time you catch yourself reaching for the boards, ask yourself what would happen if you just sat back and watched. Stepped back, and let your team work their magic.