Patio Pondering: Two Conversations, Two Outcomes
This morning, I was greeted with a “temporary shutdown” message from the elevator where I planned to deliver soybeans. Because of this delay, I can sit with my coffee and watch the sun rise over the patio. It gives me time to think about two very different conversations I had yesterday.
Yesterday I had a conversation with a young friend about the same age as my eldest children, though she’s really more like a daughter to me. It was the kind of conversation that leaves you energized. She is in her second year of work after earning a professional degree, and she is absolutely rocking it. Toward the end of our visit, I asked her, “What in your upbringing helped you grow into the professional you are today? What did your parents and our circle of friends do that helped shape you and your peers into adults who are working, buying houses, and building lives?”
That question stuck with me because it is one I ask myself often when I think about the “children” in our friend group. For the most part, they are contributing, thriving, and adding to the world around them—starting careers, buying houses, raising children, and even saving for retirement.
Later in the day, I had another conversation with a neighbor. This one revolved around some of their family members who are facing real struggles: legal troubles, joblessness, cycles of hardship. They described causes like poor parenting choices, lack of accountability in youth, and consequences that compound over time.
The stark differences in those two conversations hit me this morning. These weren’t stories from strangers; they were people I know, families that share roots not far from my own. And yet the outcomes for their children look worlds apart.
It leaves me wondering: how do families, starting from similar roots and experiences, raise children who walk such different paths? And maybe the bigger question—what can each of us do, day by day, to tilt the balance toward responsibility, contribution, and hope for the next generation?